Mental health awareness is everywhere these days. Oprah, Prince Harry, and Lady Gaga are all talking about it. Chances are, either you or someone you know has struggled with some sort of mental health issue. In the United States, nearly 1 in 5 Americans struggle with mental illness. It is estimated that over a third of Americans will experience clinical levels of anxiety in their life, and at least 7% will experience some type of depressive episode in their lifetime.

I am one of those Americans who have struggled with mental illness. My journey began over a decade ago, but in reality, I've struggled for much longer than that. At the time, I was a recent graduate of a prestigious American University. I had graduated with honors and early, with a master's degree. I was very involved in the collegiate experience – a cheerleader for my university's football and basketball teams and very much involved in sorority life. The transition out of school was a challenge.

I was thrust into a job I didn't know how to do and felt like a complete failure for the first time in my life. So much of my identity (cheerleading and being a student at my university) was no longer a part of who I was.

I felt lost. I felt unhappy. I had everything on paper I was supposed to have but still felt empty.

I had never really failed at anything before. So I coped the only way I knew how. I threw myself into a new project: "Project Me." I have been an athlete all my life, so I upped my exercise, which has always been the way I processed stress. People kept telling me that being at a "desk job" all day would make me gain weight, so I watched what I ate. Things started spiraling out of control until I barely ate. I was acting like I was training for an Ironman competition.

My mother suggested I see a therapist. I went merely to get her to stop bugging me about it—this one decision set a complete lifestyle change in motion. I first saw my therapist in March of 2008. I can say with absolute certainty, this man saved my life. After a few sessions of building trust, I shared with him that I felt like I was drowning in the ocean, and everyone I knew and loved was staring at me from various boats, telling me what to do. "You should try kicking your legs, or you should try floating on your back."

But it felt like no one was actually throwing me a life raft. I was sure I was going to drown. As my depression and anxiety began to manifest themselves more, my eating disorder got worse. I avoided food at all costs, isolated myself from everyone I knew, and avoided social situations like the plague.

In hindsight, I can see it was never really about the food or what I looked like or how thin I was, but controlling what I felt like was an uncontrollable situation. I knew what I was doing was causing great harm to my body, but honestly, I didn't care. The lighter I got, the less I felt. And I continued until my family held an intervention and sent me to a treatment center.

I spent the next three months in the desert working on myself with the help of a psychiatrist, psychologist, doctor, dietician, and therapist, which concurrently worked with me on food and emotions. It was the hardest thing I have ever done (which says a lot because I have a doctoral degree). After three months, I went home. Thankfully, I came home to a strong support team of a psychiatrist, dietician, and therapist. The journey back to "normal" life was not a straight line. It was two steps forward, one step back.

Given my previously unhealthy relationship with exercise, I had to re-establish it slowly and carefully. Thankfully, I found Pilates. Initially, it was a healthy choice for me because the classes had an established time limit, there was a set schedule, and I couldn't do it in the secret of my own home. Now, over a decade-plus later, Pilates is still an essential part of my mental health regime. I work with my therapist to create a series of daily routines that help me feel in control when life gets unpredictable (COVID anyone).

An important part of my daily routine is Pilates. Guszkowska, a polish researcher, has shown that exercise can reduce both anxiety and depression. Exercise can also reduce social isolation and improve self-esteem. Exercise has a whole host of additional benefits, including increase mental focus, improved sleep, better endurance, and stress relief, just to name a few.

What I love about Pilates is the focus on the mind-body connection. To do Pilates, you have to listen to what the instructor is saying, comprehend that information, and then make your body to it. There is a big emphasis on the awareness of your breathing and how your body is moving. You'd need to pay attention to whether your ribs are open or closed, If your core is engaged, or your shoulders are relaxed. For me, the best part of a Pilates session, whether with an instructor or self-paced, is that for that hour, all I can focus on is Pilates. I have to block out everything else in my brain and focus on the specific movements within the Pilates system.

When my job gets a little too busy and I don't have time to focus on my daily self-care routine, I can feel it in my body and spirit. Sometimes my daily Pilates routine is just stretching and breathing because that is what my body and mind need. Other times, I need to try new and complex exercises, and occasionally I need to focus on my favorite, go-to exercises. Being healthy now has nothing to do with a number on a scale or what size the clothing in my closet is. Healthy is how aware I am of how I am feeling, what my body and spirit need, and giving myself what I need.

Follow along on my health and wellness journey on Instagram @thepilatesenthusiast