As a pediatrician, I hear the following all the time :

“My kid doesn’t eat enough fruits and veggies”

“My kid eats junk food all day long”

“My kid wants to eat pizza and pasta all the time”

“My kid skips breakfast”

“My kid doesn’t eat anything AT ALL” (meanwhile, the kid is jumping up and down on my exam table)

All kids, at some point, will become picky eaters. At different stages of their lives, various factors affect our kids’ behavior toward eating and food in general. It is important to consider these factors before labeling our kids as picky eaters.

Babies will start eating solid food at about 4-6 months of age. They might or might not like a taste or flavor, but it doesn’t mean that they feel the same about that specific food the next day or the next year! Unfortunately, the labeling starts at this stage; my kid doesn’t like squash! Yes, maybe it’s true… but maybe it’s not!?

Thereafter, due to many different reasons, including teething, gagging reflex, independent eating, being more mobile, social and environmental cues, siblings, exposure to different foods, and … kids may temporarily prefer a flavor or texture over other foods. So the labeling and struggle continue! 

We as parents need to learn how to deal with these behaviors, but how?

Here are some DOs and DON’Ts when it comes to dealing with these types of behavior:

Do not label them and complain about your kid’s eating behavior in front of them; they will believe it, and it may stay with them well into their adulthood.

Do not give up. It may take up to 15-20 tries until your kid accepts a food,

Do not talk about the benefits of the food; a 2-year-old does not need to know that orange has Vitamin C, and she needs to eat it to avoid getting sick!

Do not bribe or use food as a reward or punishment. You do not want them to associate food with emotions.

Do not turn feeding into a subject of power struggle. It will never be a win-win situation.

Do not compare your kid. People come in different shapes and forms, and so do kids.

Do not bring your own upbringing and your parents’ expectations into this.

Do not distract them by phone and TV during feeding time. It is important to teach them mindful eating at an early stage.

Quality and a balanced diet are more important than quantity. The kids know how much they can eat, so we need to trust them when they say they are full. So, it’s up to us to manage the quality of their diet.

Do Schedule 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day at a designated area. Do not feed them when they leave the table.

Do Take your kid grocery shopping or, better yet, the farmer’s market.

Do Get them involved in the kitchen and cooking (following all safety measures),

Do make sure your kid is well hydrated and is not constipated. Kids quickly lose their appetite when they are dehydrated and constipated.

Do have your mealtime together. Kids learn by example.

Do Look for hunger and satiety cues, especially when your baby is in their nonverbal stage.

Do outsmart your kid. For example, you can blend the fruit with yogurt, freeze it and give it to them like ice cream.

Bonus Tips:

Check with your pediatrician to make sure your kid is growing and developing well and rule out any sensory issues and/or other medical and developmental concerns that affect appetite. 

When it comes to junk food, remember, we as parents are in charge of grocery shopping and filling up our pantry! So you can restrict their access to unhealthy food.

Disclaimer: I did not talk about teenagers in this article. They are different creatures!

Anita Sabeti, M.D. is a mother of 2, Diplomate, American Board of Pediatrics, and has privileges at Cedars-Sinai